'There is no Santa Clause & God Does Not Care for Little Boys"

From my book "David's mark"

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Every Christmas forward I reminded my mom about her breaking her promise and asked her about my Ken doll, until it proved to be useless. This was the first of many promises that my mom would break. I don’t know why, but the promise of Ken was a promise I’ve never let go of. I suspect that the breaking of that promise represents a great deal more to me then I realized. After all it was the first promise with a lie that my mom told.

The day dragged on until its end and I continued dejected. Just before I went to bed I went to my room and put “The Chipmunks” Christmas album on and stood by the stereo listening to the funny little voices.

“Christmas, Christmas time is here, time for boys and girls to cheer, me I want a….” Ken doll.

After a few more of my favorite Chipmunk songs I sat down on the edge of my bed and waited.
When Charles left I put my head toward the foot of my bed so I could watch the lights mom left on on the Christmas tree in the corner of the living room. I watched as red, blue and green winked at me over and over, their light blurred from my tears. I tried to talk to God; I wanted to talk to God. But like everyone else, he was out or busy and not listening to me. The lights on the tree continued to wink at me over and over they blinked their cheerful colors. I must have watched most of the night, until the last fading of my awareness they continued to wink at me. Before drifting off to sleep on that faithful night of December twenty fifth nineteen seventh three I had arrived at a sound conclusion. One that I would carry for the next fourteen years, perhaps it is still lingering in the deepest recesses of my mind,

“There is no Santa Clause and God does not care for little boys.”

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"David's mark" on Amazon.